Desi Manifesto Blog: The Forum for South Asian American Men

[PART 1 OF 2] I LIKENED THE JOURNEY of finding a new roommate to being a female inmate in a maximum security prison, locked in a death match with a hefty con named Big Sally, beating one another senseless with food-specked lunch trays until one of us no longer can stand.

This is what it was like when I looked for a roommate on Craigslist.org and encountered, and even generated, racism.

Personally, I’ve always felt (and gotten the vibe from East Asians and East Asian Americans) that Indians and Asians are indeed two separate groups. The concept of Asia is just what white people drew on a map as “East of Where White People Live”-land, and I don’t feel like abiding by their construct. Beyond our basic looks, our cultures, while vaguely similar, are still quite different, as are the religions and lifestyles.

* Adhir Kalyan, whom we blogged about in our review of the CW’s “Aliens in America,” bagged a role as an up-and-coming wunderkind doctor on FX’s “Nip/Tuck.” Amazingly, the writers of the show displayed their all-world creativity when they named the character “Raj.” On a happier note, that boy is going to get LAID, both on the program and in real life, because of his role on that show. It’s LA, you know. And I 100% support the sexual objectification of the Indian male by women as well as the resulting residual play from the trickle-down effect. [Thanks Angry Asian Man]

Reader P’s story of “the burrito”: P is an Indian guy in his early to mid 20s in LA. Works in a corporate-ish building, though his company is relatively relaxed in dress code.

During lunch break, he grabbed some food to go and made his way back to the office. As he rode the elevator up, bag with food in hand, the door opened and another building worker (different company) entered…

“Well she was a white woman probably in her late 30s. I was coming up from the parking garage and the door opened on the ground floor, I was about to step off but then I stopped and realized it was the wrong floor. She got on the elevator, looked at me and smiled, then said: “Let me guess, you’re delivering a burrito?”

The other day, my buddy Bala224 (whom you all know by now) sent me an interesting advice column called ‘Dear Prudence’ on Slate.com. In it, Prudie did not live up to her namesake, advising the conflicted young Indian male ‘Curry and French Fries’ to stand up to his parents, who had been ice cold towards the idea of his white girlfriend.Despite her picture frightening me (she looks like a woman who stared at me in horror in West Virginia when I stopped for gas on my way through), I applaud her response. The title of our post, which actually was the title of her post, was a good sign that her advice might be worthwhile. You’ll see she advocates that ‘Curry’ stand up to his parents to support the woman he loves, whether they like it or not.

Bala224 and I dished out our advice on the matter as well, in our typically offensive (but somewhat enlightening) fashion.

Spoiler alert: lots of references to people being genitals, needing genitals, etc.

Remember our article on gigolos in India, women, and sex?

A handful of other people may remember too, for the wrong reasons. Or at least, not the reasons we intended. As it turns out, the content of that post triggers many hits for people searching for “indian”, “aunties”, and “sex” in a very different context.

To find Desi Manifesto Blog, just google:

* aunty looking men(address and no.)

* aunties in sex desire

* indian aunties cheating

* i am a gigolo in new delhi. how can i find the customers? [Who among us hasn't asked this before?]

Part-time gang banger Professor Sudhir Venkatesh, the ‘rogue’ sociologist from Columbia University, is making his foray into Tinseltown. Paramount Vantage has optioned his book, Gang Leader for a Day, and Sudhir has been set up with the team behind Hustle & Flow and Black Snake Moan: producer Stephanie Allain and director Craig Brewer, along with writer and “Sopranos” alum Michael Caleo.

Let’s play ‘How Can Hollywood Ruin This Movie?’

ON CASTING…

DM: So, the first thing we’d all like to know is, who are you guys looking at for the lead role?

HWE: You know, it depends on the budget. High budget, Denzel. Medium budget, Will Smith. Low budget and no award potential? Cuba Gooding. Direct to DVD? Hmmm… Wesley Snipes?

DM: …I uh… But, what about for the main character? You know, Sudhir Venkatesh?

HWE: ……Oh…

I think somewhere in my brain, an older Indian national represents India herself. Like my parents, someone like him is the closest I have to the motherland, and by extension, the history and the culture. Except, Garage Uncle is not required to like me.