Desi Manifesto Blog: The Forum for South Asian American Men

[Blogger: S.I.] Part-time gang banger Professor Sudhir Venkatesh, the ‘rogue’ sociologist from Columbia University, is making his foray into Tinseltown (props to Sepia Mutiny’s Abhi, who called this back in January).

Paramount Vantage has optioned his book, Gang Leader for a Day, and Sudhir has been set up with the team behind Hustle & Flow and Black Snake Moan: producer Stephanie Allain and director Craig Brewer, along with writer and “Sopranos” alum Michael Caleo.

The New York Times review serves as a juicy preview of the potential film, and if the critique is taken at face value, it’s clear why this book would make a great movie: hands-on (and boots-on) research, a fascinating tale of the lure of power, and a bit lacking in reality (in this case, the realities of the poorest of the poor lorded over by gangs).

I haven’t read the book yet, because literacy has been wasted on me. Therefore, it’s perfect that I live and work in Hollywood. As an aspiring screenwriter, I already can see how this movie would play out. Now, I hear Stephanie Allain keeps it real. In addition, I also briefly met her when I was an assistant, and the fact that she wasn’t rude or dismissive already speaks well of her.

However, as there is a studio behind the film (Paramount Vantage is the somewhat-indie arm of Paramount, who is releasing The Love Guru)…

Let’s play ‘How Can Hollywood Ruin This Movie?’

If we got to ask a typical Hollywood Exec about the film, I envision the conversation going like this (note that this is based on real experiences I have heard of or endured myself):

ON CASTING…

DM: So, the first thing we’d all like to know is, who are you guys looking at for the lead role?

HWE: You know, it depends on the budget. High budget, Denzel. Medium budget, Will Smith. Low budget and no award potential? Cuba Gooding. Direct to DVD? Hmmm… Wesley Snipes?

DM: …I uh… But, what about for the main character? You know, Sudhir Venkatesh?

HWE: ……oh…Oh! Isn’t that White Castle kid around?

DM: I believe he’s actually on the campaign trail with Obama right now.

HWE: Obama, man if he wins… Now THAT’S a fucking movie. If that’s high budget, it’s Denzel all the way…. Man, I wish I’d thought of him first.

THE HOLLYWOOD MACHINE…

DM: We understand that a literal adaptation of the book wouldn’t work for the screen. That said, what are you guys thinking of doing to “sex up” the film version?

HWE: Well, I don’t know how much more you can sex up free-wheeling hookers and backroom meetings at strip clubs.

DM: Hmm, I don’t think those were really salient parts of the story. Not the sex, anyway.

HWE: Then why would someone detonate a bomb in the titty bar only to chase our heroes who barely escape with guns blazing in a high speed battle in the middle of traffic on a draw bridge opening over the river filled with tourist boats?

DM: Somehow, I don’t think that would be important.

HWE: You know, if you want to make it in this business, you gotta learn that it would be really presumptuous of us to judge what’s important to the audience.

CASTING PART 2…

DM: You know, there are more talented South Asian actors in the public eye than ever before.

HWE: Is it hot in here? Are you hot? I’m so hot, I’m fucking sweating. (swivels around in his chair) BRAD, GET ME SOME WATER! (swivels back) So, where were we?

DM: Well, there are viable actors aside from Kal Penn–

HWE: …Yeah?

DM: …Can you put down your blackberry?

HWE: That’s good…

Brad enters. Sets water on desk. Slinks out of the room unnoticed. HWE thumb-types at record speeds. Phone rings.

DM: For example–

HWE: FUCKING PHONE BRADLEY! (sees water on desk) Oh, that’s where I left it. (re: Brad) Kid’s totally bush league.

STAYING TRUE TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL…

DM: This is a riveting story. An intellectual abandons the upbringing and academic standards he knows to delve into the subject matter head first. How do you plan to present the themes of Venkatesh’s work? The heart of the material he wanted to show?

HWE: Whoah whoah, I don’t know if we’re going to have time for all that.

DM: But that’s the whole movie. How he did this to find out how the urban poor really lived, and how he found himself wrapped up in the exploitation and the power, eventually losing touch with his original goal but discovering another side of the story.

HWE: You know what you’re doing? I’m gonna tell you for your own good. You’re complicating things.

DM: It’s a complicated story.

HWE: What’s so complicated about drugs, gang wars, sex, and drive bys?

DM: His whole point was that their lives aren’t as simple as those trite stereotypes.

HWE: There’ll be plenty of time for a message during the wrap up.

DM: But there’s so much more story to tell.

HWE: Even better, a built-in sequel. “Gang Leader for a Day 2: Stroke of Midnight!”

EMPHASIZING SUDHIR VENKATESH…

DM: Professor Venkatesh is a complex character. How do you plan to cover his character’s turmoil, trying to stay distanced as a scientist and observer, but feeling himself drawn into the lifestyle he observes?

HWE: We see his role as very character driven.

DM: How so?

HWE: With an internal character change like this, if you force the personality on people, they won’t buy it. Audiences like subtlety, and we see him as the “art house” element that draws in a more diverse audience.

DM: Art house type subtlety?

HWE: He’s totally the kind of super-strong lead character who audiences don’t have to see much to understand. While Denzel or Will is doing his thing, shooting up other bangers and messing with hot bitches, he’ll be blending in, gracefully understated, taking it in. And to make it a big moment when the audience sees him, we figure that “less is more.”

DM: Then, to get all of his internal conflict across, won’t you have to give him huge blocks of exposition and on-the-nose dialogue?

HWE: For the right actor, a facial expression does more than any dialogue could. And we think his face is going to express a lot.

DM: That’s really considerate of you.

HWE: Hey, it’s his story. We respect that.

CASTING PART 3…

DM: If you’re looking for a younger actor, there’s Sunkrish Bala from “Notes From the Underbelly.” Or Kunal Nayyar of “The Big Bang Theory.” Shelley Malil from 40-Year-Old Virgin, too. I know those are comedies, but you could test these guys’ chops for drama and see what you got. Maulik Pancholy from “Weeds” and “30 Rock,” Sendhil Ramamurthy from “Heroes.” Older guys could include Ravi Kapoor from “Crossing Jordan.”

HWE: …Hmm, you guys seem really stuck on the idea of the lead character being played really “realistically,” huh?

DM: Please stop.

HWE: Imagine with me for a sec. This story is really a metaphor for life, right?

DM: No.

HWE: Well, after a couple rewrites, it will be. So if we’re trying to help people reflect on their lives, then we want to be inclusive, right?

DM: Honesty and candid portrayals seem to do pretty well.

HWE: We are being honest. But what’s the point of the truth if no one comes to the theater to see it? So all this race-specific stuff, I mean, we’re postmodern now. I’m so over it. You know, bro? I mean, just because the story is by a guy who happens to be Indian, and his character in the movie also happens to be Indian, doesn’t mean it’s written in stone.

DM: A Middle Eastern actor?

HWE: Like I said man, Indian isn’t written in stone.

DM: That’s… So, Latino?

HWE: Mexican, that’s an emerging postmodern market.

DM: Is there even a remote possibility that a South Asian actor would play the lead role?

HWE: Gotta say bro, that would be the dark horse.

DM: That’s kind of offensive.

HWE: Oh, my bad. The horse, it shouldn’t be any color, it’s postmodern too… I should have just said “horse,” right?

As usual, let’s hope I’m wrong. And if I’m right, hire me. Please.