Desi Manifesto Blog: The Forum for South Asian American Men

[Blogger: S.I.] And I use the term “Mexicans” loosely.

This is an IM from the woman kind enough to date me, affectionately referred to as “Desi Manifesto Gal,” about fun times at her office.

DMGal: ugh I’m friends with this guy here

and he dropped the “M” word

“I go to this gym on el centro with a lot of mexicans. I feel like I’m going to get jumped”

and to not sound entirely offended, I said, “I believe the correct term is latinos”

and he said, “well you’re not mexican, are you?”

and I kind of looked at him, hoping he would realize that wasn’t the point.

and I said “no, but, there are latinos who work here that could be offended because that remark was derogatory”

and he said, “well I didn’t say it that loud and whatever, I’m the minority here.”

UGH

If only idiots truly were the minority.

This, in a nutshell, is what really irks me and many of us about mainstream white America. No, they are not the KKK or the Aryan Brotherhood. And I even could ignore the comment about Mexicans jumping him because I think a lot of us joke about groups of people, whether it’s racial, gender, sexual orientation, etc., based on exaggerations that we know to be false. My group certainly does with all races, including Indians.

But the willingness to oversimplify other people who are considered non-white, the idea that it’s only offensive if someone hears (and only when it’s someone of that particular “lumped together” identity), and the flawed understanding that minorities are treated differently solely based on numbers…

That’s the white America I know.

Forgiving misidentification within other South Asian identities, we are conflated with Arabs and Middle Easterners on a routine basis, and often times, people assume us to be Muslim. Someone once spelled my name with an apostrophe, knowing nothing about me other than what I looked like. I guess he tried to be nice, at least. And it was the summer after 9/11. Maybe he was scared I would “jump” his next plane.

Like with our supposedly violent Mexican friends, stereotypes abound about us, whether it’s that we’re all owners of 7-11s or hotels, or that we’re all from abroad, or that Hindus worship cows, or we are poorly endowed, or that all our food is curry.

I don’t expect white people to understand what it’s like for minorities. They’ve never had to go through it, so why would they know? However, their ignorance stems from an almost purposeful attempt to acknowledge zero inequities in life. It’s awfully easy to assume everybody has the exact same situation and chances as you.

And worst of all, most white people just don’t get why we could get annoyed with this. Whether it’s wanting my easy name pronounced correctly, or why we don’t feel comfortable in some places or with some crowds, or why we question people’s motives, I’ve had multiple white friends understand, but I’ve had more encounters where I’m told I’m being too sensitive, that it’s not important, or that I’m reading too far into things. I usually don’t go into how white people subjugated my ancestors, as well of those of many other minorities, but I don’t think they’d get it anyway. It wasn’t them, and that’s good enough. Who cares what great grandfather Mountbatten did? But that attitude is one that refuses to acknowledge history. And those who do not learn from history are doomed to sound like damn jackasses and end up in this blog.

And when it comes down to not respecting what being a minority is… Yes, you could see it as a numbers game. But women outnumber men in the US, and they too are considered a minority. Minority status is defined by your control of resources and your clout. So being the minority in an office of 60 people, while not only incorrect in terms of numbers and asinine at that, doesn’t qualify, because he had as much power as anyone else in his position, and considering the office was run by white people, his group was in no way disenfranchised.

Even with the ethnic rage bubbling, I do want to point out that minorities are rarely completely innocent, as we often tend to simplify others. I feel I’ve interacted with so many white people that I’ve seen most of the spectrum.

But when it comes to other minorities, we could improve. I’m talking about desis who would be just as apt as a white guy to make the “Mexican” comment (but not the “minority” comment, thank goodness). I’m talking about those who love discriminating against black people as much as the white guy next door. I’m talking about the ones who feel a sense of entitlement by being a wealthy minority and ape the behavior of wealthier Anglo Americans.

Can you be on both sides? Can you reject the callow and callous behavior of the white guy above, yet make those same comments about minorities yourself? Do you get carte blanche because you’re a minority? To me, while being a minority is partly about your skin, because others will judge you based on your color, more of it is in your head and your heart. And I don’t think you can have it both ways.

DMGal: so he was heading out and I said “don’t get jumped!”

what an idiot.

I mean, I already knew he was white

but, wow.

you just can’t help people like that.

it’s like, here you are, you have all this opportunity and money, and you chose to be uneducated as fuck.

There are South Asians who have said things equally ignorant. And while I lambaste this fool, I have no love for anyone who happily wallows in his ignorance, no matter the color of his skin.

So, for those of you who whisper the hated word “kallu” in the shadows, so your bigotry can go undetected:

Don’t get jumped.

Picture courtesy of LokVani.com.