Desi Manifesto Blog: The Forum for South Asian American Men

* Adhir Kalyan, whom we blogged about in our review of the CW’s “Aliens in America,” bagged a role as an up-and-coming wunderkind doctor on FX’s “Nip/Tuck.” Amazingly, the writers of the show displayed their all-world creativity when they named the character “Raj.” On a happier note, that boy is going to get LAID, both on the program and in real life, because of his role on that show. It’s LA, you know. And I 100% support the sexual objectification of the Indian male by women as well as the resulting residual play from the trickle-down effect. [Thanks Angry Asian Man]

Reader P’s story of “the burrito”: P is an Indian guy in his early to mid 20s in LA. Works in a corporate-ish building, though his company is relatively relaxed in dress code.

During lunch break, he grabbed some food to go and made his way back to the office. As he rode the elevator up, bag with food in hand, the door opened and another building worker (different company) entered…

“Well she was a white woman probably in her late 30s. I was coming up from the parking garage and the door opened on the ground floor, I was about to step off but then I stopped and realized it was the wrong floor. She got on the elevator, looked at me and smiled, then said: “Let me guess, you’re delivering a burrito?”

As an Indian man living in Louisiana for many years, I have often been asked, by members of all races, what my thoughts on Bobby Jindal are. I tend to hate answering such questions because I often feel doing so plays into the notion that there exists some monolithic Indian-American voting bloc. What I think of Jindal has little to do with my being Indian. What I think of him is really based on that one universal question that all responsible citizens should ask themselves when deciding between political candidates: Where does he stand on the issues that I care deeply about?

The other day, my buddy Bala224 (whom you all know by now) sent me an interesting advice column called ‘Dear Prudence’ on Slate.com. In it, Prudie did not live up to her namesake, advising the conflicted young Indian male ‘Curry and French Fries’ to stand up to his parents, who had been ice cold towards the idea of his white girlfriend.Despite her picture frightening me (she looks like a woman who stared at me in horror in West Virginia when I stopped for gas on my way through), I applaud her response. The title of our post, which actually was the title of her post, was a good sign that her advice might be worthwhile. You’ll see she advocates that ‘Curry’ stand up to his parents to support the woman he loves, whether they like it or not.

Bala224 and I dished out our advice on the matter as well, in our typically offensive (but somewhat enlightening) fashion.

Spoiler alert: lots of references to people being genitals, needing genitals, etc.

This past Thursday, NBC aired an episode of “The Office.” And while that show has slipped so far down the crapper that no creative plunger can retrieve it, I found myself thoroughly pleased. Because of a GE commercial that aired during the show.This advertisement starred Indians, depicted India, and portrayed elements of Indian culture.

And to my complete shock, it didn’t suck. In fact, it was very well executed and showed awareness.

I think I’m getting soft.

So we’re all aware of the typically Hollywood, over-the-top premise of The Love Guru and why it could (should, and probably will) offend Hindus and Indians in general.

We delve into something else: how offended should we feel?

Because in a strange way, The Love Guru might be exactly what we want.

How often have you wondered why there are so few shows that deal with stories of minorities? People in positions like us (or even close to us)? Or why the few Indians seem to be such cardboard cutouts? Or why you’re shocked when you see a brown character at all, let alone a desi who is an interesting person?

I can answer this: because the vast, vast majority of Hollywood writers are… bet you didn’t see this one coming… tabla roll, please…

White males.

…That’s the biggest Hollywood cliché of all.

It’s not uncommon for Indians to be the “filler” race in film, TV, and commercials. I’ve seen Indians routinely portray Latinos, Arabs, Persians (or as Hollywood calls them, “terrorists”), and of course, other South Asians. As posted on this site a little while back, even in the real-life legal system, our peeps sub for any race you want.