Desi Manifesto Blog: The Forum for South Asian American Men

Contrary to popular belief, the Indian guy is actually the one
doing the lifting, courtesy of WWE.

[Blogger: S.I.] Pro wrestling is the abject shame of many otherwise civilized, upstanding members of society. I know this because I watch every now and then (OK, almost every week, but I fast forward with my DVR), and every time you think they’ve hit bottom, next week, they’re out there with shovels.

Take tonight’s episode of WWE “Raw,” which airs on USA Network. A couple prominent wrestlers, Shawn Michaels and Triple H, were cutting a promo for their group, Degeneration X. As DX went on, a number of wrestlers showed up, wanting to join. Among them: Punjabi powerhouse Dalip Singh Rana, better known as The Great Khali. Perhaps you saw him in Adam Sandler’s remake of “The Longest Yard.” He was the biggest and baddest inmate of all.

In retrospect, I don’t know what I was hoping would (or wouldn’t) happen. Did I really expect them to avoid the lame Indian accent? Shame on me. But, even in this moment of defeat, more good may have come from it than bad.

Initially, HHH did literally one of the worst Indian accents I’ve ever heard. I mean, atrocious. He sounded more like he’d suffered serious head trauma than he did Indian (and, because he is a pro wrestler, this may be true).

I awaited the typical chuckle that the seemingly dimwitted crowd typically emits. Like most people, when they think someone’s funny, they titter regardless of what he says. Add to it the mental state of the typical wrestling fan, and you have the lowest common denominator—someone who will laugh at practically anything. I braced my ears. And to my delight, the laughter never came. The lack of sound lasted so long that HHH had to move on. And I smiled.

For the first time, wrestling fans had impressed me. Or, they at least hadn’t undermined my fast-fading faith in humanity another level. Easily goaded into chanting “Gay,” “Fag,” booing the benevolent, lauding human flesh meeting the steel of chairs and the wood and plastic of tables, verbally salivating at the scantest hint of a woman’s flesh, and often appeased by the actions of wrongdoers, jingoists, and xenophobes—these people didn’t laugh. A couple mitigating factors: this was in LA, not the rural Midwest or the South. Yes, it’s really true, the wrestling fans seem dumber there. Also, to work with East Coast timings, it was taped around 6PM Pacific Time, so I surmise people weren’t completely rowdy and drunk yet. But it still was a wrasslin’ crowd, and I couldn’t smell their collective breath through the TV.

The other source of my shred of joy? HHH referred to Khali’s translator, Ranjan Singh, by name. And he actually pronounced it correctly. Not “Ron-john.” No big deal, you say? Probably. But, considering that they claim Khali hails from “the jungles of Punjab,” it’s all about the little victories with these guys. As for Khali as a wrestler, well… we can’t win them all.

But at the end of the day, I’d say we just won two. A couple stereotypes debunked, including mine.

If you watch wrestling, that is. Which I don’t.